Some guy asked: Why we keep losing wars.
My answers are here:
Headless zombie space aliens stole our brains.
For some damn reason we are fighting for other people's oil in the middle east. We don't need to be there. We know it. So we don't fight to win. You can't win there anyway. They enjoy killing each other.
We need to establish the Pork Protectorate in the People's Republic of Bacon here in the United States of America. That way, the radicals won't come here, we won't go there and everybody's happy!
Because you have been such lovely contestants, Middle East, we will send you all our foreign criminals, illegal aliens and undocumented democrats.