Monday, February 16, 2015

National Zombie Day: Take A Walking Zombie To Lunch


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Attack of the Invisible Zombies



If you thought about it you knew it was only a matter of time.  Sooner or later the insane Dr Xombie, experimenter extraordinaire would figure out a way to render walking dead flesh eater invisible.  He did this by several methods. A group of invisible zombies was eventually attained.  Dr Xombie started by infusing highly contagious viruses with  the chromatophores from cuttlefish and the pigmented skin of chameleons.  Then zombies were infected with the viruses and the ability to change skin color was thereby transferred.  Using combination of electroshock therapy and poisonous gases as well a punishment reward system, the good doctor taught some zombies to camouflage themselves by taking on the coloration of their surroundings.    A select group of chameleon zombies were given even more stringent and even more arcane treatment  and eventually they learned to display whatever pattern of light that appeared behind the  zombie on his front.  Dr Xombie had to do ground breaking work on the theory that skin cells can detect light naturally without any manipulation at all.

The advanced zombies could either camouflage themselves or render themselves completely invisible depending on whims or need.

Since zombies are dead, walking dead, they did not show up on infrared.  Humans who survived invisible zombie attacks did so by relying on sound and the movement of objects in the vicinity of the zombies.

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Sunday, February 8, 2015

Dr Zomby The Walking Dead Whisperer Goes Viral




In an alternate universe, Dr Zomby is a virologist.  He captures zombies and performs viral experiments on them.   Dr Zomby once saw a presentation on what would be required to make fire breathing dragons real.  Intrigued, Dr Zomby captures some sturdy young zombies, and begins experimenting on some viruses and injecting them into the young walking dead.  The virus makes the skin of the young zombies rough and scaly. They begin to take on the appearance of lizard men.  

Next Dr Zomby introduces viruses that incorporate exotic  platinum compounds into the cells of the young zombies.  After many failures and many dead, scaly zombies who puked metal and died, at last Dr Zomby was successful.  For reasons known only to the doctor and perhaps satan, Dr Zomby unleashes fire breathing  zombies on the world.  Hell just got worse.

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Dr Zombie The Walking Dead Whisperer




It almost goes without saying that a guy who calls himself:  Dr Zombie the Walking Dead Whisperer, will have a habit of strapping zombies down to chairs and shoving electrodes deep into their virus infected brains. 

Dr Zombie new it was going to be a bad day when he awoke in gore.  He was not sure whose gore it was--though he had his suspicions.  He knew the captured walking dead zombie did not put the gore there.  The creature was still quietly struggling against it's bonds in the laboratory.

It would have been a convenient conceit for Dr Zombie to tell himself he could not remember how it all happened but with just a little effort the memories where crystal clear.  Dr Zombie has always wanted to know what it felt like to actually be a zombie without being a zombie.  And so he pulled the nerve impulses directly out of that walking dead wretch and piped it into his own brain.

Well, Dr Zombie thought, I hope I killed the help and not my own family.  Even during a dystopian Zombie Apocalypse, what authorities there were then to frown on slaughtering your own family.

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Saturday, February 7, 2015

Breaking The Rules: Violating Zombies


He called himself Dr Death and he conferred upon himself a doctorate in the study of zombies.  He was then fully aware of the prohibition against zombie on zombie violence when he violated his first zombie.  Dr Death thought the the Zombie Apocalypse was the perfect excuse to work on perfecting mankind.  The only problem was that zombies ate people who were perfectly healthy.  What was needed was a change.  The zombies needed to eat sick people and leave healthy folks alone.  This would mean that zombies would eat each other but that part couldn't be helped.  When Dr Death's rain of terror was complete he was certain that the rain of error--the original Zombie Apocalypse--would be perfected.  The first wave of zombies he dispatched sought out hospitals and everyone who was not healthy.  While the sick eating zombies where about their father's business Dr Death perfected the second wave of zombies.  The second wave would detect genetic anomalies and promptly eat anyone who had them.

The third wave would take a little AI to make sure they found the correct victims.  The third wave attacked anyone who wore glasses, or carried a cane, or had an ear piece or who had contact lenses or a toupee or even a wig.  A fake leg would get you eaten by third wave zombies.

Only the uninjured and the genetically perfect were left to repopulate the earth.  The final zombies left ate each other.  Before that happened, Dr Death left his laboratory and let the zombies feast upon him.  He wore glasses, had a congenital heart defect and had even more problems that he did not care to think about.

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